Unfortunately, sometimes (especially in a Plus Sized Pregnancy) it can become necessary to break up with your doctor. This is (almost) always an uncomfortable situation, so I thought I’d give you a few pieces of advice from my personal experience!
With my daughter, I went through 3 doctors before I found one that I was comfortable with. (And he has since retired, so I’m dreading this process in the future!)
Reasons to break up with your doctor
- The makes you feel uncomfortable : Trust your gut on this one!! Maybe he makes snarky comments about your weight, or it’s something else in general. (Sure, a good doctor will mention your weight, and maybe even encourage you with ways to control it. Their job is to help you be healthy! But if they are nagging, obnoxious or just plain rude? Kick them to the curb!
- They aren’t listening to you : If you don’t feel that your concerns are being heard? Remember, you know your body! And trusting your gut is so important!
- The office staff is rude : This goes along with the doctor making you uncomfortable – but maybe the nurse or even the receptionist is rude to you. There’s no need to be treated that way!
- They won’t approach your care the way you feel is best : This is one to think LONG and HARD about! But unfortunately sometimes? Your doctor (for whatever reason) may not want to approach your care the way you feel you deserve. A good example of this is (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) VBAC‘s – there are so many different opinions on this, and some doctors refuse to attempt it. (Even though in many instances it’s perfectly safe!)
- Any other reason : Trust your gut!! (I know I keep repeating that!) There are many many reasons to leave a doctor – and that ultimately is up to you and your partner as to why and when to leave a doctor.
How to break up with your doctor
The most important thing BEFORE breaking up is to trust your instinct on this one. The second doctor I went to? I didn’t even finish my appointment because she made me feel so uncomfortable and I didn’t feel like she was listening to my concerns. (That was an uncomfortable moment for me, I’m incredibly shy and my husband is a HUGE introvert – so we both had huge anxiety over leaving!)
Bring up concerns : You can avoid the awkward moment of having to leave (sometimes) if you bring up your concerns as soon as they arise! This won’t always fix the problem, sometimes doctors are just not the right fit for you. (And sometimes, unfortunately? They just aren’t good doctors!) But if they don’t know you’re having an issue? They can’t fix it!
This can also bring up the opportunity for you to simply say “This isn’t working for me.” And you’ve got your out!
Tell them why : If you feel like this information can or will help? Let them know why. (Of course, this isn’t always comfortable, and it isn’t always an option!)
Just Go : Sometimes? The only way you feel you can approach breaking up is to just leave. Simply don’t schedule your next appointment!
We’ve broken up, now what?
I know that was hard – breaking up is never easy! And doctors have a way of guilting us sometimes but just remember that your gut is important here! You’re taking care of yourself and your baby, and sometimes you just need to get out of there! But there’s a few things you need to do now!
Report the doctor : You may need to report the doctor. If they are doing something that is potentially harmful to their patience? This may be necessary! The American Medical Association has all the information you need.
Find a new Doctor : This is your very first step (after reporting if it’s necessary) and I’ve got a guide to doing just that! Check out my 4 tips on finding a size friendly healthcare provider.
Request your records : Now that you have a new doctor, you need to request any records the old doctor might have be sent over! (If you only attended half of one appointment, like in my case? Don’t worry about this!)
I know breaking up with a doctor is never a comfortable situation, but sometimes? It’s necessary! I hope that this post has in some way helped you to take steps towards finding the best doctor for you! If so, please help someone else out by sharing this on your favorite social media platform!