While this post really could be for the friend of ANY pregnant woman? Some of these problems are magnified in the pregnancy of a plus size woman! So if you’re the family or friend of a plus size pregnant woman (or any pregnant woman) I have 5 tips for friends of pregnant women to help be the best support for her that you can be!
5 tips for friends of pregnant women
- If you’re curious how far along she is? Just ask! (Of course, it’s never ok to just assume someone is pregnant – but if she’s opened the door to that conversation? It’s ok to simply say “How far along are you?” or “When are you due?” — Of course this is ONLY after you are 100% certain she is pregnant!!!
- Once she answers? Don’t (under any circumstances) make a snarky comment! Chances are good that no matter what you guessed? Its incorrect. Each pregnancy is different, and it’s common for plus size women to look either FAR more pregnant than they are, or not any different than normal!! (With my last pregnancy, I didn’t really show at all until 30 weeks. I delivered at 35 weeks, so I only “looked pregnant” for about 5 weeks! And now? depending on my choice of shirt? I may look 6 months pregnant when I’m not at all!)
- Do NOT give (unsolicited) advice! Pregnant women get more advice than you can imagine. And there are so many things to worry about as a plus size pregnant woman (Gestational Diabetes, Miscarriage, etc) that they do NOT need you asking if they’re exercising or eating properly. Leave that to her doctor!
- Be excited with and for them! Unfortunately, infertility rates are higher among plus size women, so chances are good that your friend had a tougher road to pregnancy. Be excited for her. But please do not worry about her! (See previous tip.) Chances are also good that she is doing enough of that herself and just needs someone to be excited for her.
- Don’t be critical. I know this is sort of a given. Or at least it should be. I have a good friend who is only trying to be helpful, but it is often taken as snarky, judgmental and critical. (And I’m not even pregnant, yet!!!) Being pregnant makes all women more sensitive – so imagine if you have a weight problem/self confidence issues/etc, and someone is trying to be helpful but you are hyper-sensitive. Chances are good you’re going to hurt some feelings. So keep to the old adage – if you don’t have anything nice to say? Don’t say anything at all!
Really, what it comes down to? Be a good friend – just as you would be the rest of the time!! Be supportive, loving and compassionate. Be willing to give advice and share web links when asked – but otherwise? Just treat her the same as you always do!
Do you have any tips for friends of pregnant women? Please leave a comment and share your advice!